What’s Wrong with “Wh” Questions? 5 Things and The 5-Word Fix
A Child in Mind
Your child is falling apart. Another volcanic meltdown, drowning in a tsunami of tears, siren-like screams. If you knew what specifically was wrong, you’d know what specifically could help. So you resort to the strategy that helps you the most in adult life: specific questions.
What are you upset about?
When did this happen?
Where were you?
Why are you so upset?
How did this happen?
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
It truly is unfair that the style of inquiry that helps us function in the adult world incapacitates us when trying to help a young child. Specific questions can even prolong and impede the process, while emotions spiral further out of control like a tornado on the plains. Why? (oops!)
In 20 years of being a child psychologist, and the years of training before, I learned the cardinal lesson: “Wh” questions shut…
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Categories: Managing Emotions